Is He or She Cheating? 10 Things You Must Do Before You Make That Call To A Private Detective.
A large part of a Private Detective’s job is catching cheating spouses and documenting that evidence on video. But there’s a number of things women, specifically, should do and should not do before they make the call to a private detective or private investigator.
1. Don’t Confront Your Cheater
You should never confront your cheater, unless you want to waste money on an investigation. Once the cheater has been alerted that you know they’re fooling around, they’ll cool their heels for a while. Any attempts by a competent private detective to catch them in the act will be fruitless, since they won’t actually be doing anything.
Do You Think You’ll Actually Get The Truth?
Remember, a cheater is a liar, and an expert liar to be sure. If you confront them with only circumstantial evidence (lipstick on collar, text message on phone, smelling of perfume) they’ll think of a way to lie their way out of it. After all, who knows how long they’ve already been lying to you? They’re experts at it.
Don’t think because you’re their wife they’ll suddenly spill the beans to you. They’ve covered it for so long it’s almost become a game to them now. They want to see how far they can go with it. And, if you truly had that much power over them, do you think they’d have cheated in the first place?
2. Video Evidence
The only true evidence that will get you the truth is video of him with his lover. He can’t talk his way out of that. A licensed private investigator is trained to get that evidence for you legally.
3. Gather Your Own Evidence
Be quiet about what you already know and start to think about ways you can gather evidence yourself. Whatever you found that alerted you to something going on – photograph it, copy it or someway make sure you have your own copy of the evidence. The take this evidence and store it either in a safety deposit box or in some other truly safe location. If your cheater finds it, you’ll never see it again.
4. Keep A Journal
Nothing fancy, just a simple date and time record of what you saw and where you saw it. If your cheater doesn’t come home until 1 AM — document it in your journal. Writing it in a journal means you won’t have to struggle to remember details that could be very helpful to a private detective when the investigation starts. Keep your journal in an super-safe location.
5. Watch For The Cell Phone Bill
Make copies of the phone bill when it comes in. Then, using different colored highlighters, highlight the numbers you don’t know that you see more than once. Highlight each number with a different colored highlighter. After you’ve gone through a few pages of highlighting, you’ll see one or two numbers scream at your from the page. This is more than likely your cheater’s lover.
6. DON’T Call ANY Phone Numbers
Even if you know for sure it’s your cheater’s lover, never ever call their phone number. What can you accomplish by calling? All you’ll do is alert them you know something. Don’t think by calling and hanging up, you’ll fool anyone. When can you honestly recall getting a call and the caller simply hanging up on the other end? The cheater and his lover will be extra-suspicious of any hangup calls and may put the affair on hold.
You might think you could scare his lover into not seeing your cheater anymore. Any threats you make over the phone could land you in the hoosegow and blacken your image in the eyes of others.
7. Check The Computer
Check their Internet history and recently surfed websites. If you find that the history is regularly deleted, there must be some reason for this. Don’t confront the cheater about it. A competent licensed forensic investigator can locate all the Internet history from the computer.
8. Carry A Voice Recorder
You and your cheater aren’t getting along so well. That’s a given. Why else would they cheat? So, it’s fair to say that you probably have your fair share of arguments that sometimes turn nasty.
If you carry a hidden voice recorder, it will accomplish three things:
One: It will capture anything they are saying to you and if they get nasty you’ll have it all recorded for future evidence.
Two: Since you’ll be there, you’re less likely to say anything nasty because you know you’re being recorded.
Three: If it gets violent, you’ll have the recording to play for the police who’ll gladly shackle your cheater.
9. Research The Private Detectives In Your Area
All investigative firms are not created equal. Some are one-man shows, others aren’t even licensed. You can check an investigator’s license with your State’s licensing board.
The next thing you want to do is check their reputation. One easy way to do that is to view or request their client list and/or testimonials.
Don’t let an investigator say to you, “We keep that information secret”. That’s rubbish. They can keep the casework they did a secret, and should be expected to, but if they actually had any clients, they’d let you see them and talk to them.
10. Make Sure They Are Insured
Private detectives can get into sticky situations and one working under contract for you might get into hot water. You want to make sure you are protected by asking the investigator to show you a copy of his insurance policy. Don’t fall for a bond. A bond provides absolutely no protection for you were you to get sued.
Bonus Tip: Retainer Fees
Make sure the investigator you hire offers a REFUNDABLE retainer fee. That is, if you pay the investigator a $500 retainer, but then decide to cancel the case, you get your $500 back less any administrative fees, which should be disclosed upfront. Most investigation agency retainers are non-refundable, meaning, you pay the investigator $500, that’s their $500 no matter what happens. Don’t get fooled by this tactic. Only hire a reputable investigation agency.